marchin' on

D'you see what I did there with that title? I have a feeling that particular song by OneRepublic will become my anthem for this month. To be frank, my February was anything but feb-ulous (OK, I need to stop with the month puns).

Behind this façade of silly statements and weekend recaps and simple smiles is left a person who is frightened about her future, frightened about what's in store for her. I hate being that vulnerable. As much as I'd love to live by my week-at-a-time mentality I so convince myself I have under control, the truth is that so much of my future is guaranteed - or not - by outside sources. Acceptance and Rejection have become the main characters in this story we call 'my life.'

These two archnemeses have battled it out to the point where I ... I have to stop relying so much on outside sources. Take matters, or happiness, into my own hands. Or at least the area of financial stability and the ability to drive (yes ma'ams and sirs, I am going to driving school in a couple of weeks, and as a twenty-two year old that's both embarrassing and frightening, but I'm ready to get my bum into gear ... or the car). 

I'm ready to keep marchin' on and stand up to those figures of Acceptance and Rejection. While I may not be able to control who hires me, I can control how I react - I can either let it get to me, which is what I've been doing lately, or think there's something else meant for me; this happened for a reason. Oh yes, that cheesy cliché of everything happens for a reason will definitely become an encouraging motto, because I find it works. And another one (that I'm making off of the top of my head and I apologize to anyone who's already coined this):

You may not be able to choose every thing that happens in your life,

but you can choose to have another cup of coffee.

And I've found that when things seem hopeless, it's better to concentrate on the things that get me by (besides coffee), things that keep me striving for the future even in its uncertainty. 

01. being my sister's maid of honour

My amazing sister is planning a destination wedding in less than a year and I am honoured to be her maid of honour. The past couple of weeks have been spent picking out a bouquet of flowers and deciding on shoes, and I can't wait to help her with more details - and I definitely can't wait to see her walking down the (sandy?) aisle, with my adorable niece in front as the flower girl. 

02. being a jetsetter 

Although the thoughts of Europe are getting farther and farther away (mostly because I want to spend a month there), the thoughts of shorter but still awesome vacations are looming on the horizon. Namely: Cuba or San Francisco. While there are still so many hurdles to jump over before I even get to this point, just the thought of it makes me smile. (And maybe in 4 years, the Philippines/Indonesia? :D)

03. nights with my friends

Whether it's laughing over bubble tea, random photoshoots, talking about our lives, or exploring bits of the city, their presence makes my life beautiful even when things going on bring us down.

04. castle nights with my mama

As cheesy as it sounds, I look forward to plopping down on the couch and watching Castle with my mom, trying to solve the murder and awwh-ing at every Castle/Beckett moment. 

05. a thousand inside jokes
Whether it's The Boy claiming that he'll dropkick a grenade for me and stop a train for me (by waving it down), saying weird phrases like "good borning!" whose origins I can't recall, or making jokes about our future lives in a home together ... makes me look forward to more inside jokes.

What helps you get by when 'the going gets tough'?
{image via tumblr, couldn't find a specific source}

And since this post is a bit of a bummer, let me direct to posts that make me smile:

"Feelin' Lucky" at While We're Waiting /  "What This Little Lady Dreams About" at Little Tiara / "My Life in 5 Years" at Patikym / "Memorable Experiences" at Fab Brunette / "Preparing for a Barefoot Walk" at my teacups in peony/